This is a brief post about what has been happening. I had a plan I really did, but my life got in the way and everything went to shit real fast. It lasted about 3 weeks, I am still a little dizzy from it. The set back is devastating. I lost my burgeoning system. Getting it back to where the hell I needed it to be is going to more work. I hate when crap like this happens. I don’t bounce well. I am at the end of the my third decade of life. My optimism level are lower than before.
Because usually when I fall it is my own damn fault. I might be thinking unconsciously that I deserve what every is happening or not happening. Those quotes like, “nothing is free”, “success comes from hard work”, swim through my brain. I whine on my blogs about being a loser. I try to be positive at the end but that doesn’t always work. I lose the focus on the saved draft post. That is the worst. Then I try to kill the bad mood with my favorite TV Shows, Asian dramas and online games.
When I am in a better mood or I see that a story in a drama could have been written better. I remember that I am writer. I have a million stories in me that need to come out. I have writer references to help me. So what is keeping me from being that person I want to be. Fear, misunderstandings and low confidence are just to name a few. Obstacles that many people have faced and over come. I need the determination of other people. I need to fake determination until I have it for myself. I ends these whiny blogs with positive note or at least I try. Tomorrow is another day and no one knows the future.